I lost a best friend today. She didn't do anything convenient like get hit by a truck, but she did get caught doing something understandable but unforgivable. She broke my sense of trust in her completely, and I sobbed. So like any adult, I came home and cried on my husband's shoulder and listened to Bayside and howled along with a sniffly nose and red eyes.
I wish I could say I don't understand the emotions I'm going through, and that I'm stuck in a fog. I've grown up a little since high school, though, and understand that what I feel are betrayal; disappointment; sadness; hurt; disbelief... I feel foolish for believing the lie for so long, and for thinking we were such good friends. This feels like a breakup, but I have a supportive husband to hold me while I cry.
I might be there tomorrow when the police report gets filed, and when her boss - my mom - explains to the officer that my parents don't want to press charges, and are just filing the report as a part of the process. I might watch her pack her stuff, and watch my dad changes the locks and the alarm codes.
Or I might stay home and chill for the day.
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